Baby Jackson!!!

I'm writing this post because someday I want Jackson to know the details of his birth, and I thought I better write it down now while I still remember it all. I may have to edit this later with Jeff's help, as he'll remember a lot more than me (you'll see why later!).

Let me start from the beginning. The VERY beginning. From the time that Jeff and I got married, we loved watching and playing with little kids; our nieces and nephews, our friends kids, and even the little rugrats running around at church! But we both agreed that we wanted to wait to have children until I had at least graduated from school. We actually talked about it a few times but neither of us ever hinted at another alternative. That is just the way we both wanted it, so I could be a stay at home mom and focus solely on the kids.

Then one day in the end of October of 2010, we went to the temple. I remember for a split second thinking of kids but dismissing the thought entirely almost immediately. It wasn't even the thought to have kids, and I did not realize at the time it was coming from the spirit. The thought was simply just "kids."

At church a few days later, (on Halloween of all days!), I noticed I couldn't stop staring and smiling at all the little kids I saw, and suddenly I remembered the thought from before at the temple, only this time I had the added impression, "don't wait, now is the right time." I was so startled and almost scared by this thought that again I tried to dismiss it, but this time it wouldn't leave my mind.

I could barely sit through the lessons about simplifying our lives and prioritizing, because I knew the reason why I should follow these inspired lessons was to prepare for my own future family. So I made a deal with Heavenly Father. I told him if this was really the spirit speaking to me of his will, he better let Jeff know too, because I didn't want Jeff to think I was just "baby hungry!"

All during church I looked at Jeff and wondered if he was thinking what I was thinking. I worried about how I would "casually" start THIS conversation once we got home. Finally church ended and I made up my mind that as soon as we got home I would bring it up, because I needed to get it off my chest. That proved to be more difficult than I thought, but after what seemed to be an eternity, I finally said "Jeff . . . I need to talk to you about something!" He said "Me too!!" I don't remember who went first, but we both shared our impressions, and they were the same . . . that we shouldn't wait anymore. Jeff said one of the most powerful moments he had when thinking about kids started a couple weeks before when my sister was visiting with her kids, and he had known then that it wouldn't be long for us. We decided to pray about it together, and again felt an overwhelming confirmation that it was time.

I went off the birth control, with the assurance that it takes most people awhile to get pregnant, so I thought I'd at least finish out the semester of school before getting pregnant. But less than a month later, I started to feel like something was different. I took the pregnancy test and the line was so faint that I thought it was a fluke. I called my sister who was anxiously awaiting the verdict, and she assured me that a "false positive" wasn't likely, and that I was definitely pregnant, but probably only barely so, and thus my HCG levels weren't high enough to make the line darker. It still took Jeff and I a few days and another pregnancy test to convince ourselves of the validity of the test. (I think we were scared of getting our hopes up if we were wrong, and in shock it had happened so quickly if we were right!) but eventually we realized the truth and got excited . . . we were going to be parents!

I was able to finish out the remainder of the semester of school, but started getting pretty sick. Just the typical morning sickness, (though it lasted all day), and the wonderful bonus of my daily migraines, but it started to be very debilitating! However, it was great to be with the Foust family for Christmas when we announced to them we were pregnant, and also discovered that Brian and Lisa would be having a baby as well, and we were only a week apart in our pregnancy! (Our due dates were both later changed . . . to the exact same day, July 31st!)

We had our first dr appointment at Valley OBGYN on January 11th, when I was 11 weeks pregnant. Things seemed to be going smoothly until the dr tried to find baby's heartbeat and couldn't hear it. He told us it might still be a little too early, and we would try again at the next appointment.

So February 8th we tried to hear the heartbeat again, and again the dr couldn't find it. This time, he was worried since I was now 15 weeks pregnant. He sent us in to get an ultrasound right away, and I'll never forget the joy and relief I felt, and the reaction from Jeff who jumped out of his chair when we saw our little baby for the first time, punching a tiny fist in the air (or amniotic fluid, I guess), and breathing quite well. Everything was normal. :) PHEW!!! Unfortunately it was still too early to tell if baby was a boy or a girl. (By the way it took 4 different ultrasounds before we finally found out the gender!)

Having heard that most women get over morning sickness when the second trimester begins, I had hesitatingly started the winter semester but soon got so sick (even worse than the first trimester), that it was difficult to continue school. I held out until there was one month left in the semester, but ended up deferring, in fear of ruining my GPA (though at the time I had A's in all my classes.) (This deferment later presented quite the amount of complications for school).

Then the swelling started. I had hardly gained any weight throughout the pregnancy, but between weeks 29-34, I suddenly gained 18 pounds. This seemed really crazy to me, and when I mentioned it to my Dr, I guess maybe he thought I was concerned about the issue of weight gain, when really I was worried about complications (possibly pre-eclampsia which I had read about on the internet). But he assured me that everything looked good and that it was all water weight and I would probably walk out of the hospital at the same weight i was before I got pregnant. Well, he got some of that right, it was water retention . . . but WAY too much of it! And though I didn't lose all the weight in the hospital, I did lose at least 26 pounds in those first 3 weeks.

On Monday July 5, 2011, I woke up in the middle of the night in excruciating pain, just below my chest, near my sternum. I was confused, this wasn't at all what I expected contractions to be like, so I assumed it must just be some other weird pregnancy related thing. But since I couldn't sleep, I started reading on the internet, and again came up with symptoms similar to pre-eclampsia. I started to get so scared that I went in the Living Room and just started praying as hard as I could that all would be well. I immediately felt the impression that I needed to ask Jeff for a priesthood blessing. I hesitated at first, not wanting to wake him up, but the pain was so bad that I was in tears, and I decided I had no other alternative.

Jeff was more than happy to give me a blessing, in which I received much comfort. I was told that the doctors would know what was causing the pain and would be able to help me and all would be well. After being awake for a few more hours, I finally drifted off to sleep, grateful that I had a scheduled Dr appointment the next day. The next morning, Jeff left early to work, and I slept in, having not slept well the night before. Around 9, the pain started coming back. Soon after, my sister Melanie called to ask me to come hang out with her and her kids at my parents house. They were visiting for the 4th of July. I told her I didn't think that was a good idea, as I could barely move. I explained to her what was going on and she told me to call my Dr right away. I told her I planned to wait since I had an appointment to see him at 1pm anyway, but she convinced me that I should call him and try to get in earlier, as she was worried it could be pre-eclampsia as well.

I finally decided she was right, and called the doctor's office. Because I was only 36 weeks, they didn't take my complaint too seriously, but told me they "supposed" I could come in an hour early and they would do a "Non-stress test" on the baby. Jeff got off work immediately to take me. We waited and waited and waited in the lobby. When we asked how long it would be till I could see the Dr, the nurses said they were out at lunch. We were surprised and a bit agitated since they had told us to come early, but we tried to patiently wait. After two hours had gone by, I told Jeff I thought we needed to go to the hospital. Not because I thought we were having the baby, but because I was in so much pain. By this point, I was in tears again from the pain. (This is a big deal for me because I like to think I'm pretty tough, and I don't like to cry in front of other people, especially strangers!) After inquiring yet again about when we could see a doctor, and being told again that they were still gone at lunch or busy, I told the receptionist I was leaving to go to the hospital. She rolled her eyes but said she would go get a nurse. At last a nurse took me back to a room, only to tell me again that the doctors were very busy,  and I would have to wait approximately an hour. I had had enough, and told her, "Don't worry about it, we're going to the emergency room." She seemed shocked by that, and looked at me like I was crazy and said, "Are you sure?" I said "Yes, I cannot wait anymore." She kept trying to convince me to stay, but we got up and walked out.

We arrived at the emergency room, (luckily right across the street from the doctors office), on July 6th at about 2pm. I remember telling Jeff to drive carefully, but get us there as quickly as he could. When we walked in and told the nurses what was wrong and they immediately got me a wheelchair and took me up the elevator to the maternity ward. Their quickness actually scared me a little. I thought "what if I get up there and there's nothing wrong with me. They'll just tell me to quit being a wimp and go back home." But that was not the case. I was immediately taken to a room where they started monitoring my blood pressure and heart rate, both of which were extremely high. A doctor came in within a few minutes and said "Put this hospital gown on, you're going to have this baby today."

I wasn't prepared for that at all. Suddenly a wave of fear rushed over me, and Jeff called my parents to tell them what was going on. I told him that I wanted a priesthood blessing so my dad said he'd head right over to help Jeff give me one. The Dr came in and said I was dilated 3 centimeters, but I had pre-eclampsia and HELLP Syndrome. Both my life and the baby's were in danger, and he said he was going to induce me because I needed to have the baby right away.

I got an epidural and they gave me the Pitocin to induce me, but 20 minutes later the Dr said I wasn't progressing as quickly as he had hoped, and Jackson wasn't getting enough oxygen; it was a life threatening situation for both of us, and the only thing that could save either of us was an emergency c-section. If I thought I was scared about having the baby, it was nothing compared to the fear I had about having a c-section. My parents both arrived, and I told the Dr I wanted a priesthood blessing before I went in. He said we really didn't have time. Suddenly I remembered the words from my blessing the night before, that "the doctors would know what was wrong and would be able to help me." With that, I decided to let them take me right away.

I remember being SO cold during the procedure. My arms were strapped down to a table straight out from my shoulders to keep me from moving, and a partition was placed above my abdomen so I wouldn't see what was going on. They put a blanket over me and blew hot air under it, but I was so cold I was shaking violently. The doctors were scared I was going to have a seizure (full blown eclampsia) and kept telling Jeff to watch for that. I remember him asking how he would know since I was already shaking so bad. It was hard for him to see me this way, and he kept asking them if they were sure I was alright. I was so grateful to have him there holding my hand through the whole procedure. After only a few short minutes, our 4 pound 10 ounce, 16 1/2 inches long boy, Jackson Aaron Foust was born at 7:03PM. I got to see him for a brief second, then Jeff accompanied Jackson's nurse to the NICU to make sure he was breathing ok and to give him a bath. I remained strapped down so they could deliver the placenta and stitch me up. I was still freezing, and it seemed like it was taking forever. At last, I was finally wheeled back to a recovery room. All I remember is they accidentally ran my bed into the wall while trying to turn a corner. Then I was out.

I spent 5 days in the hospital, mostly due to my extremely high blood pressure. I was on at least 6 powerful medications, so I was never quite aware of my surroundings. I wasn't even physically capable of even getting out of bed until my very last day, and my legs were so swollen that they hooked up a machine for those 5 days that made my legs vibrate to keep the blood flowing. That week sure took quite the traumatic toll on my body. For the next several weeks after I had to visit the doctor every couple days to continue to monitor my blood pressure. Thankfully, things finally returned to normal, and Jackson, though small, was very healthy, and never even had to be in the NICU. I count this as one of the greatest blessings.

The outcome of this pregnancy was probably one of the most miraculous events of my life. I am so grateful to have Jackson with me now. I can tell that Heavenly Father sure wanted him here quickly. Our decision to have him happened so quick, I got pregnant so quick, and he arrived quite a bit earlier than his due date. He must be here for a good reason, and I'm so grateful he is!